Tim Cimbura

Speaking & Entertainment

Physics, Cleanliness, and Toys

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If you ever need proof of the second law of thermodynamics, then you should live with children under the age of five. This law states that all things tend toward disorder naturally increasing entropy.

This is most evident after cleaning our home. Kids affect the “entropy” immediately. Any order created by putting things in their proper place, vacuuming, washing, etc. can be turned into a complete mess within seconds. Clean clothes are just waiting for a spill or to get unfolded. Yogurt covered hands will most certainly end with hand prints on the windows and mirrors. Eating Nutella or spaghetti are recipes for disaster. Toys get strewn about all over the house.

To help combat this issue, I now choose the toys I purchase for our kids by certain important qualities. I ask myself the following questions before making my choices:

1. Does it make any sort of noise? Play drum sets, flutes, whistles, and electronics with annoying buzzer sounds are out. Anyone giving my children these kinds of toys is no longer a friend of the family.

2. How many microscopic pieces are present or are there more than two parts to the toy? Arianna has some small princess dolls. Each individual doll has little plastic shoes, jewelry, a crown, clothes and accessories. These parts are constantly found throughout the home. In fact, the favorite activity of my daughters with regard to dolls seems to be to undress them and leave the clothes all over the home. I’ll find a bin full of naked princesses and later find their outfits under the couch, in the play oven, used as a bookmark, etc. Decks of cards and puzzle pieces stay ordered for approximately 45 seconds before they are bent, lost, or strewn about the home. Puzzles can be built once. Any subsequent attempt to put it together again will yield a minimum of 1 piece missing…kind of like Humpty Dumpty.

3. Does it require an infinite number of batteries? I’m convinced that kids toys and accessories that eat batteries were developed as a scam by Eveready or Duracell to sell more batteries. For a while we had a baby swing that required 20 Triple D cells for operation… the equivalent of a small nuclear power plant. Can we get wind generators for the toys?

4. Does it require an advanced degree to remove it from the box? I’m really glad I went to school for electrical engineering. Removing toys from boxes at Christmas is like diffusing a bomb. “Get me the wire cutters honey!”

If the toy fails any of these tests, it’s less of an option. OK…in reality…we do allow the kids to play quite a lot.

The other day, finger painting sounded like a good idea to keep the kids busy in a creative activity. About 20 minutes later my wife checked on the girls to find that they had completely covered themselves (instead of the paper) with finger paint. What fun! It was now finger…hand, hair, arm, leg, and face paint.
So my wife finally realized her dream of being a CIA agent as she said “Hands up in the air. Nobody move!” As we were cleaning them up I thought to myself “I wish I had taken a photo of that. Now I’ll have to stage the photo later.”

I’ve found that I need to resist the need to be clean all the time. Sometimes letting things be messy for a while helps them to get cleaned up better in the end. This is really a struggle for me. I’m kind of an organization and neat freak with tendencies toward perfectionism. I have a Dymo Letra Tag label maker that I hold in a holster. (Only use the plastic tape.) I build custom databases where every piece of information requires a place.

Life is about getting all messy and then cleaning up. As much as we desire to protect our kids and keep things neat, sometimes we have to let them make mistakes and get into messes on their own to learn a lesson.

Being around kids will sure help to CURE you of perfectionism…or drive you batty. I say get used to it. Life is messy. Be OK with it. You’ll have more fun.

Then one day your dream will come true like it just did a few minutes ago. My oldest daughter Arianna started cleaning up the house on her own. She said: “I want things to look shiny. If anything looks dirty, I’m going to clean it all up.” Then she proceeded to spray Windex into the DVD player. OK…two steps forward and one step back.

The Sound of Music

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Sometimes we just need a break from our normal routine. One day recently at Central Train Station in Antwerp, Belgium something original happened.

How would you react if suddenly the world around you started singing and dancing? Hopefully you’d smile and enjoy it. I’m sure that’s what a kid would do. In fact, they might try to join in.

Lessons from The Tale of Desperaux

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The Tale of Despereaux is an exciting and funny modern fairy tale about a little mouse that is different from other mice. His qualities play well into those essential qualities that I’ve identified that help keep us youthful, joyful, and more successful. (Warning: Contains movie spoilers. If you want to see the movie first you can do so now and then read about it later.) Here’s how Despereaux hits on the “Child at Heart” qualities:

1. Despereaux has an ACTIVE IMAGINATION and finds many creative ways to get out of his predicaments.
2. Despereaux’s actions provide us with LAUGHTER. In one favorite scene, his parents are worrying about his future and discussing it with the community leaders. Meanwhile, Despereaux simply takes the time to play and enjoy his life without care.
3. Despereaux lives for adventure experiencing many things for the FIRST TIME in world’s outside his comfort zone. He sets himself on a quest to save the princess as a gentleman without any experience ever doing that before. Despereux expresses full curiousity and desire to learn by actually reading a book he is supposed to eat.
4. Despereaux lives in the PRESENT moment…fully taking advantage of everything available to him. He values the people around him and desires to make quality friends and relationships.
5. Despereaux is always LOOKING UP. As a mouse he’s super short. His outlook and perspective on life is positive. He sees himself as part of a larger story…the bigger picture. He is not afraid to act out the part that he has been given.
6. Despereaux BELIEVES THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE. He doesn’t let anyone else crush his dreams of saving the princess…even though he is an unlikely hero. He is no where near what a typical knight in shining armor should actually look like.
7. Despereaux is DARING and brave. Despereaux’s parents and the entire mouse community try to get Despereaux to cower, be fearful, and to scurry away when danger is anywhere nearby. Despereaux refuses to fear. It just doesn’t bother him. This irony to this is funny to us but it is what often really happens in our lives. We learn to be afraid and to worry. We don’t start out that way as kids.

Despereaux is the consummate child at heart. In the end he is the hero and winner because he remains faithful to his childlike spirit in the face of all odds. See the movie. You won’t be disappointed.

Appreciating the Moment

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Last Tuesday seemed like a normal day. Our daughter woke up with a fever and so we gave her some Tylenol and let her rest. One minute our little girl was quietly resting watching cartoons, then suddenly she was shaking uncontrollably, her eyes rolled back, and her face turned purple. My wife flew into action to see if she was breathing. Her jaw was clenched.

I immediately attempted to dial 911. The phone wasn’t working! I reached for my iPhone. The last time I used it, I was listening to a podcast…so the voice came on. In that moment I wanted a phone, not an iPod! I thought about the First Aid application on the phone…but there was no time to get to that. After a few seconds I was connected to 911. They got our address and sent an ambulance. In a few minutes we had three policemen and two paramedics at our home…administering oxygen and asking questions. Her little sister Brielle got a towel from the kitchen. She was all confused and wanted to help.

Arianna was rushed to the hospital with Brenda in the ambulance while I followed behind in the car. In the emergency room she looked so sad and hurt. After the initial monitoring we tried to get her to drink some fluids and keep her fever down. The doctor gave some little bear stickers to Arianna. She thought about her sister “I’ll get one for Brielle.” I wore one on my hand like she did. (My goodness it really hurts to take the sticker off when it pulls off most of my hair with it.)

After nearly 6 hours at the hospital we found she had a bad urinary tract infection. Evidently kids under the age of 6 can have “febrile seizures ” set on by high fever. She got dual shots of antibiotics in both legs. We told her “A shot hurts for a little bit but it helps you feel better for a long time”. Soon after we were on the way home with Arianna.

The whole experience reminded us again that life is so frail. Those minutes of not knowing what was happening were the longest minutes ever. We needed to know that she was safe and out of danger. Through that scary time you see what really matters. You gain perspective. At that moment money was not a concern. It didn’t matter how much the ambulance cost…if it could save our little girl. We’re thankful we have good medical care available.

That night we were back at home and Arianna was feeling better. She wanted some french fries at 10 pm. Normally, I wouldn’t go out just for the fries but that night I did. I made a late night run to the McDonald’s drive-through and then the video store to get a movie she’s been asking to see every time we passed by it. Upon seeing a 43 year old man renting “Barbie and the Diamond Castle”, the guy at the video store said “Going all out tonight, huh?” “Yes, I am.” I replied…and I was.

It’s amazing how quickly we fall back to “normal” patterns. I’m determined to appreciate life and remind myself every morning it is a new day. I agree that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. It’s appropriately called the present.

After feeling that you’ve almost lost your little one, you want to make each moment count. What would you do differently if today was your last day together with the people you care about? Why not do it now?

I put together the following action plan that is a good idea for everyone:
* Know the way to the nearest hospital. Google maps can get the directions wrong.
* Know how to dial 911. I think it’s 9-1-1…right?
* Learn CPR and First Aid. You never know when you might need it.
* Appreciate every moment of time with your loved ones.

Kids, Technology, and Facebook

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The other day I came across this story about a teacher:

The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students came up and took over the keyboard. “Your hard drive crashed,” he said.
I called the computer services office and explained, “My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.”
The help desk technician explained “We can’t just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that’s the problem?”
“A student told me,” I answered. “OK…We’ll send someone over right away.”

The point here is that kids “get technology”. Why? One big reason is because kids are not afraid to try new things. They just keep at it until they get it right. They also often have the luxury of time. They are open to learning.

I can’t believe how many adults fear Facebook.com. Recently, though, the population of Facebook users seems to be changing. Facebook started with young people on a college campus. Now many of my high school friends (that I haven’t seen for 20+ years) are joining. Even my mom joined Facebook. (Part of this was due to being somewhat blackmailed into it. If you ever want to see photos of the grandkids again…you need to join FaceBook.)

One question I get frequently is “Why should I join Facebook?”
I’ll answer in the form of a question “Do you value relationships with your friends and family…and your time?” If the answer is “yes”, I believe you should join Facebook. It’s free due to sponsored by advertisements that appear on the right side of the web page.

What is Facebook?
Facebook is also a great way to connect with people that you know and even people that you haven’t seen for a long time. Officially, it is called a “social networking” application. It’s kind of a personal web page and blog where you can interact with other people that also use Facebook. Facebook is a lot more controlled and legitimate than MySpace.com.

I use Facebook to connect with friends and family and to share what’s up. I’ve posted a bunch of photos on FaceBook to share with my Facebook buddies. The new version of iPhoto integrates with Facebook so it’s super easy to upload photos. There is a Facebook iPhone application so I can even update my page live from my phone and check on my friends as well while I’m on the road. Facebook helps you track birthdays, major events, and even find other people that live nearby or have common interests.

Once you begin connecting to many people via Facebook, it can become addictive. My wife and I were competing at one time to see who had more friends. Then she simply gave up. (To her credit I have 10 years more friends that she does…and a custom database I developed to keep track of them all.) Although Facebook can take a lot of your time, in the end I believe it saves you time. Why should you repeat the same story over and over to multiple friends? You can post your photos of your latest travels or family events and all your friends see it at once…and can even comment on it. It helps you to stay more connected with people around you that you value. Then when you do see your friends you can converse at a deeper level since they already are aware of the basics of what’s going on in your life.

When you know something about the personal lives of the people around you, it improves your work environment and fosters a culture where people care more about each other. Facebook will also allow you to create or join groups if you like for associations, clubs, fans, etc. Then you can automatically get notifications of events and things that may be of direct interest to you.

What’s a Friend?
There may be some confusion with Facebook regarding what a “friend” is. There are different levels of relationships you have in life but on Facebook they’re all called a friend. Facebook friends can consist of:

  • Close friends and family. Real friends.
  • Acquaintances or people you’ve recently run into.
  • People you want to maintain some minimal contact with such as people you haven’t seen in 20+ years. Maybe you’re curious to see what people are up to…and it may help to plan a reunion. Maybe you will rekindle a lost friendship.
  • Business connections…to get to know co-workers or contacts on a personal level.
  • Extended family…to find out who they are and get to know them a bit.

My Facebook Policies
To help me keep my sanity, I set some personal rules or policies for my usage of Facebook. They are:

  • I only connect with people that I actually know or have met in person. Occasionally, I will connect to a friend of a friend but I need to be sure that knowing about their lives will add value to my life. If someone posts annoying information, I can quietly and discreetly “defriend” them. Facebook doesn’t even tell them so as not to hurt their feelings.
  • I ignore almost all requests to add applications or play games. I don’t have time for that. “Trout slapping” and “poking” are not so much for me. I find a strength in the “Ignore” button. You can, too. Don’t feel obliged to join every cause that your friends are involved in.
  • My main Facebook photo is of me. It is not my kid, my dog, my favorite politician, or me with someone that might be confused with me. This makes it easy for people to identify who I am…even if they haven’t seen me for a long time.
  • I do not use Facebook purely as a marketing tool for my business. I have a genuine interest in using Facebook to get to know people and be social.
  • I do not post things on Facebook that I wouldn’t want anyone in the world to see. Even though there are privacy settings, Facebook is a public forum. Remember that potential employers may visit your Facebook page. Those embarrassing party photos may prevent you from getting a job in the future. Although Facebook has many privacy controls (and they are especially important for younger people), my privacy level is pretty open so that people can find me easily.
  • I maintain a clean and simple Facebook page so as not to confuse others or myself.

Here are some other Facebook tips that might help you:

  • When you post on someone’s wall everyone sees it. Avoid posting personal details about yourself or others that you do not what shared with all their friends or anyone that looks at their wall.
  • If you want to send someone a private e-mail, use a Message. If you want to be more direct, just send them an e-mail directly outside of Facebook. Often you can find your friend’s email address on their profile Info tab. This also helps you stay in contact if they change their e-mail address in the future.
  • Do not invite friends to message threads unless you know that they know the other people and are VERY interested in the topic. Currently, there is no way in Facebook to back out and remove yourself from a message thread. You just need to agree with everyone to stop chatting…and sometimes this is not easy…especially if you’ve never met the other people.
  • Look through your wall once in a while. If you see any inappropriate messages or photos that were posted by someone else, simply click on the Delete button next to each one.

I hope these ideas and tips help you make use of a great tool and help you overcome any fear of Facebook technology. Take the attitude of a kid and just try it out. The worst thing is that you decide it’s not for you. The best thing is that it improves your life. Hope to see you there.